'90 Day: Hunt for Love' teases ambulance drama amid beer-soaked relationship drama

Oh, “90 Day: Hunt for Love,” how you tease us with this ambulance drama! Who is being taken away at the end of episode seven?

Well, there’s more drama to stir up before we get to the big cliffhanger, so let’s pick up where we left off last episode: everyone bickering at the social media review session.

Jennifer mocked Colt for his lack of connection, but that didn’t deter him from yelling at her and Rob to confess to their hook up, which they never do.

Meanwhile Cole is quietly miffed about mentions of loyalty and Jennifer accuses him of being controlling and playing the victim, while Elise is shouting about Jen not respecting Cole. Rob ultimately points out that they’ve all only been there a week, so why is anyone getting heated about anyone getting together?

Finally the dating experts, Nick Matiash and Tanya Mitra” intervene and we never get to see anyone else’s social media profile.

Later, Chantel and Joe and Usman and Nikki going on a double date to a beer spa, where you can literally soak in beer, which purportedly offers skin and hair benefits. An employee hands Joe and Chantel hops, malt, and yeast to throw into a bubbling jacuzzi before they soak together and it seems like it would be a stick, smelly mess, but the pair actually really vibe together and even kiss while soaking in literal alcohol.

Elsewhere at the spa, Nikki and Usman go through an energy healing and hop into a cooling tub together, emphasis on cooling. This pair isn’t finding themselves to be very compatible for a few reasons:

1) Usman kinda only asked Nikki out to make Cortney jealous.

2) Usman wasn’t very into Nikki’s animal loving bleeding heart (she admitted to rescuing dozens of animals off the street and even cried when she saw a dog eating out of a trash can on her way to the resort, none of which Usman in the slightest).

3) Nikki is bisexual and Usman has no earthly clue what that really means.

Usman literally asks Nikki if there is more complicated sex involved because he’s not really into it non-heterosexual sex acts and she has to clarify that nothing needs to be done differently, she just also likes women. Nikki takes his confusion in stride and they end the date pleasantly enough, but no one’s going home together here.

Back at the resort, the group is gathered for a Tiki party on the beach (minus Jennifer who was confronted by Cole in the dark and asked to talk with one of the coaches present tomorrow. He opts out of the party as well).

Elise catches Cortney up on the Rob/Jennifer/Cole drama and then learns Usman went on a date with Nikki, which frustrates her because he’d been flirting with her, but never bothered to ask her out.

Some speculate Usman was jealous of Colt’s apparent interest in Cortney, but she routinely refers to Colt as a friend. Still, Usman becomes worried his jealousy plan will backfire, and after some encouragement from the group, goes to talk with Cortney directly.

There is a lot of back and forth between them over who hurt who with the lack of communication, but Usman FINALLY asks Cortney out on a date and even walks her back to her room later where they seems like they’re about to kiss, but do a simple hug instead.

And in a different room, Jennifer is entertaining another guest for dinner: no, not the raccoon she joked about hiding in her room (boo, bring our boy back!) No, she’s got Rob over, AGAIN. Rob is feeling good about his chances, saying Cole tanked it earlier in the day with his attitude.

The next day, Jennifer and Cole meet with Tanya to try to talk out their concerns. She admits she feels she’s seeing some red flags from Cole about being controlling and jealous, and Cole thinks they maybe have two different approaches to the situation. Tanya advises they both need to be clear on their expectations, and things seem to be taking a positive turn when we hear the whoop whoop of an ambulance.

Everyone is running over to see what happen and looking down at the gurney to seewe still don’t know!

All we know is someone is being whisked away and Cortney is in tears.

Our money is on Colt, based on the teaser for next week showing boys’ night out, but no sign of Colt. Guess we’ll have to wait and see!