Pee-wee Herman documentary: The man behind the red bow tie, Paul Reubens

In never-before-seen interviews, Paul Reubens shares his own story for the first time about his life beyond his alter ego Pee-wee Herman.

The two-part biographical documentary of ‘Pee-wee as Himself’ shows the secretly ambitious and deeply personal life of the man behind the bowtie, Paul Reubens. It’s nothing short of a real, raw, and reflective peek inside the mind of the children’s host and cultural icon Pee-wee Herman.

Reubens became a household name in the 80s when he developed and portrayed his alter ego Pee-Wee Herman. He starred in the film Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure and later as Pee-wee in the CBS Saturday-morning children's program Pee-wee's Playhouse.

“I took my job as having a children’s show so seriously.” He went on to say, “I felt a freedom in having an alter ego. I just went, ‘Oh, I did create this thing that I can hide behind, or I can step away from this,” Reubens said.

For the docu-series, Reubens sat down with director Matt Wolf for 40 hours of interviews and never-before-seen childhood photos.

Over the course of the interviews, Reubens “set the record straight” on the rise and fall of his legacy, including tentatively discussing some of the rumors and scandals that plagued his career.

Not surprisingly, Reubens' two biggest scandals, his arrest in 1991 for indecent exposure at an adult theater and when his home was raided for child pornography in 2002, were the most difficult for him to discuss. Before his death, Reuben sent a final voice message to Wolf where he addressed the shocking moments, saying, “The memory of the public is like an elephant memory and 30 years later I feel the effects all the time.”

The next day, Reubens passed away from cancer, which he had been privately battling.

RELATED: Paul Reubens, actor who portrayed Pee-wee Herman, dies after private battle with cancer

What many people understand was his inner struggle to separate his comedic character from his real-life need for connection. During the height of ‘Pee-wee’s Playhouse,’ the star says he felt like a “shell of a person,” adding, “I was working so hard that I had no personal life whatsoever. [It] felt very lonely to me.”

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One of the sacrifices Reubens made for fame was keeping his sexuality a secret. “I was conscious enough to know being closeted would have some kind of an effect on me.” From his stand-up comedy tour to his movie star status, Pee-wee focused on putting his career before anything else in his life. “I was like, put your blinders on. You’re not having any kind of traditional relationship. You’re going to just pursue your career. And I led an extremely private life,” Reubens said.

‘Pee-wee As Himself’ offers a untold perspective on his upbringing, from New York to Sarasota, Florida. He was heavily influenced by circus culture – and shows how drag, theater, comedy and his favorite childhood show ‘I Love Lucy’ all lead to his widely successful character ‘Pee-wee Herman.’

To hear Reuben share his life in his own words, check out ‘Pee-wee as Himself’ airing on HBO.